Weekends

Weekends look a little different with toddlers in the house. For example, sleeping in means 7:30, instead of 5:00. It looks a little bit like this:

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And this:

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We are currently watching Frozen for about the 100th time:

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Can I just say that I’m pretty sure Olaf is one of my favorite cartoon characters ever?

I also got to have a fairy draw pictures while sitting in my lap:

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And it’s not even nap time yet…

So what are you up to this weekend?

Opening Up is Tough

I have the honor of writing a monthly piece for TwinTalks.com. The opportunity has been huge for me, as I love writing, and getting to write about my girls is just fantastic. This past month, however, my piece took a very personal turn. When suggesting topics for the month, I brought up how having twins has and is changing the way I view my body. My editor loved the idea, and that became my topic.
*Gulp*

I knew in discussing the ways that twins changing my body has changed my view of my body, I would have to publicly delve into my eating disorder. Yeah, I’m one of those people. I was very sick for a very long time, sometimes physically, sometimes mentally, sometimes both at the same time. I’ve been in recovery now for about 10 years, and there have been many things that have helped me along the way and moved me toward a healthier reality, but none in quite as powerful a way as having Z and R has. I won’t go too much into all that right now, since my other article isn’t published yet. Suffice it to say, they are my number one motivation to stay healthy.

What really got me was the nerves though. As I sat that Saturday night, writing out all my thoughts, editing, and finally clicking ‘submit’, I was practically shaking from nerves. I’ve never talked about this in such a public way. Or really, much at all. Once that piece is published, a pretty large audience is going to know about my struggles. A lot of people might judge. People I know personally who follow my posts may feel differently about me. But a lot of people may read my story and realize that their pasts can make them stronger, and that they can become the healthy, happy role models that their children need. They may be encouraged and reminded that the past is the past and that they can continue to move forward and heal. They may realize that they’re not alone when the physical and mental strain of pregnancy and childbirth is daily altering their body, barely giving them the time they need to become familiar with their new selves before changing yet again. So I went ahead and wrote.

My daughters are my motivation every day. I want to be the role model that they need, and that keeps me going every day.

So soon, everyone will know a little more about my past. Not everyone may like it, but it is what it is. I just hope and pray that it may be able to help someone else a little further along their path of healing and health.

Things I Talk About With R

An actual conversation I had with R last night:

*R runs up to me while I’m washing dishes*

R: My toes! Mommy, my toes!

Me: What about your toes?

R: Need help!

M: Why do you need help with your toes?

R: Need off, mommy! Need off! 

M: Why do you want your toes off?!

R: No need dem!

She Thinks I’m Cute!

Z has recently learned about things being cute. It all started with the tiny rocks she collected at Meemaw’s house. Then her stuffed dog(DogDog)’s nose. These are the things that inspire Z to coo, “It’s so cuuuute!”.

Then, as I was getting my jacket on to leave for church on Easter morning, Z found me in the kitchen and smiled up at me, “Mommy, you so cuuuute!”. It melted my heart and cracked me up at the same time.

My kid thinks I’m cute! In her book, I’m right up there with her tiny rocks and DogDog. I’ll take it!

Bittersweet

Just after the new year, the girls quite taking bottles cold turkey. One day, they just decided they were done. They still nurse when they’re with me, but their need for mama milk when I’m away has passed. I was however, left with a freezer full of stored milk that I hated to see go to waste. I was unable to donate it to a milk bank, as it was all pumped after Z and R turned one, so I held on to it and kept and ear out for local mamas in need.

Little by little, my milk stash went out to mamas and babies in need of a little extra help. It’s been such a blessing to be able to help. From the beginning, I had an epic over supply of milk (contrary to what many would have you believe, it actually a fairly common “problem” among moms of multiples), so I pumped and stashed away gallons of milk in my freezer. It was a wonderful thing to be able to have that resource for my girls. When the time came that they were ready to leave that need behind, my first thought was to pay it forward to other moms who were struggling to pump enough for their little ones.

Today was a bittersweet day for me though. This morning, I met up at a local children’s store to deliver the last 26 oz. of milk from my freezer. I was so happy to be able to help that sweet mom and baby, but it was also the closing of a chapter for me. I am no longer a pumping mom. My babies are toddlers, and no longer require me to keep a stash of milk for them. That part of their lives and mine has passed. As grateful as I am to be done (because pumping is hard work!), and to have been able to share my milk with those in need, it was still with a tiny pang of sadness and nostalgia that I handed over that last bag of milk today.

Pumping milk for my girls and for sharing has been such a sweet blessing in my life, and I am deeply grateful to have had this experience it. I am happy and excited to move forward, but I will most certainly miss this sweet experience.

Spring is Here!

It’s the first day of spring, and this day couldn’t have come at a better time. The whole family has been taking turns battling a nasty stomach bug for the past 10 days, and we’ve all been feeling pretty cooped up. This morning was the first time we’ve all felt pretty much ok, so the girls and I headed outside to enjoy the breezes and sunshine. What better way to chase off the last remnants of sick, right?
So we spent our morning picking coloring the sidewalks with chalk (hopefully our neighbors appreciate art, since we live in a condo building and share our sidewalks), hunting lizards and picking flowers. Spring is usually a tragically brief season here in Florida, so I’m happy to get out and enjoy it while it’s here!

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What are you doing to enjoy the first day of spring?

In Memorium: My Tidy Living Room

I sit here tonight amidst the rubble of my once tidy living room. It is no more. I now have twins tornados that daily wreak their havoc, and each evening I put them to bed and come out here and sit in the chaos. 

From where I sit, I see dolls and toys and pretzels; coasters, a long disused Bumbo seat, and a stuffed dog that barks Jingle Bells (ask me how much I love that dog. Just ask. I dare you…). I know that on the dining room floor are bits of orange, bread, and chicken that were dropped at dinner. 

I used to care a lot more about the order and tidiness of my home, but that level of care has long since gone out the window. Sure, I wash the dishes, pick up all the toys, and sweep the floors, but there is always the lingering, “Why bother?” that comes with it. Cleaning a house with toddlers in it is like trying to rake leaves in a storm. 

I used to care a lot but now, as long as I can maintain basic sanitation, I just don’t. Why? Because the debris and chaos in which I am currently sitting is just evidence of fun. My crazy little tornados have torn up this living room with FUN. They play every day with ferocious intensity. Play is their job, and they pour their entire selves into it, leaving a wake of mess behind them once they ultimately tire and fall asleep for the evening. 

I could follow them around, picking up as they go. I could spend day trying to convince them to only play with one thing at a time, or to put things away once they’re done. That would be a fruitless, frustrating waste for all of us, though. Instead, I get on the floor and join in the mess making fun. 

Farewell, Tidy Living Room, I’ll take fun and joy and the disaster area it creates over a tidy house devoid of play any day. 

Unicorns

I met another twin mom today!

Meeting another parent with twins is like meeting a unicorn. It’s like walking through the forest and suddenly spotting another magical horse with a horn on it’s forehead. You have to fight the compulsion to excitedly run up to them screaming, “Yay! You have a shiny, magical horn too!” Only, instead of magical horses with horns, it’s meeting another person who knows what it’s like to have the same unusual pregnancy/birth/child-raising experience as you.

Instead of being that creepy person who freaks out and screams, “Yay! You have twins too!!!” You casually approach and say hi, then make a comment on how cute their twins are. It’s very cool and calm (well, calm for having twins). Then, of course, you very quickly begin comparing notes on shared placentas and pregnancy complications.

Because that’s the beauty of meeting other twin parents, it’s a very unifying experience. Not many people get to experience having twins, so meeting someone else who does is pretty spectacular! Even if you end up having little else in common with them, the simple fact that you both have twins bonds you together.

Then you get to have another unicorn to wander through the forest being magical with!